You Don't Need Confidence in Yourself to Achieve Goals

November 01, 2020

Confidence is a subject that I've addressed before on our blog and during my live sessions in The Dream Builders Lounge. However, since I still get so many questions from clients about how they can achieve their goals while feeling scared and unsure of themselves; I thought it appropriate for me to address confidence again but from a different perspective. This perspective doesn't require you to have faith or confidence in yourself; because sometimes that's nearly impossible if you've given up on your goals in the past or if you've gone through a series of traumatic events in your life. This perspective will help you get started so that you can build up confidence in yourself as you go.

So, what is confidence anyway?

The Oxford Dictionary describes confidence as the state of feeling or a belief that one can rely on someone or something; it's a firm sense of trust 

And here's where I want to challenge your limiting beliefs:

Who told you you needed to have confidence in yourself or your abilities to accomplish your goals? Who said that it's all up to you and solely your responsibility to get the job done? 

Learn how to accomplish all your goals with zero confidence in yourself.

Based on the definition alone, confidence is a belief that someone or something is reliable. And that person or thing is so reliable that you can count on them/it to help you accomplish whatever it is you've decided to do. 

When I was first starting my journey I had low self-esteem, low self-worth, and zero confidence in my ability to accomplish anything beyond what I was already doing at the time; being a stay-at-home mom and a wife. And just to put things into perspective, I was failing at both.  

My marriage was falling apart; my husband and I had lost our initial connection and he resorted to infidelity to cope. As a mother, I was unsure of myself and always stressed out about keeping the house clean and getting everything done throughout the day. The fact that you're reading this blog post and I've managed to build an amazing coaching business where I help women of color accomplish their goals fast, and figure out their purpose has little to do with me having confidence in myself or my abilities. 

The secret is, I found someone and something else to have confidence in beside me. Then, as I moved through the process of accomplishing my goals, I slowly gained confidence in myself along the way.  

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Before I go further by revealing the trick I used, I must clarify what goals mean to me and the women I coach. I don't just help women of color accomplish goals that lead to some random achievement. I help them accomplish their Dream Goals through a holistic approach where we focus on 6-key areas of their life; money, health, God, self, others, and community. For me, goals are a way to completely transform your life and fulfill your life's purpose. 

Therefore, if you're here to discover a way to do something like save money or lose weight, this method isn't for you. But, if you're here to have prosperity and live a healthy lifestyle; physically, spiritually, and mentally, then my secret to achieving your goals without having confidence in yourself is perfect.   

Now that I've clarified what Dream Goals are, let's talk about why we lose confidence in ourselves and what's needed to get it back. 


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Most women have tried in the past and failed at achieving their goals. Or, they've started and then quit when things got overwhelming and hard. If this is you, you're not alone as studies show just 25% of people stay committed to their New Years' Resolution after just 30 days, and only a whopping 8% go on to actually accomplish them.

Now add trauma to that scenario. Tanya Maté, N.D., states that trauma is not what happens to us, but the disconnection from ourselves that occurs as a result of whatever the stressor was. 

Let that sink in!

No wonder those of us who have lived through a painful situation find it hard to believe in ourselves after. For me, the combination of quitting in the past and disconnection with myself made it nearly impossible to have confidence.  

I had let myself down too many times and had been through too much pain in the past to have any confidence in my ability to accomplish my goals.



In order to start the process of achieving my goals, I had to believe in someone and something more reliable than me. This is where the magic happens in your journey. When you can believe in something outside of yourself and understand that your goals are a way to transform your life into something that leads to the fulfillment of your purpose; you have started thinking on an elevated level.


So, then who and what should you put your confidence in Your Creator and Your Purpose,


When our God-Elohim said to Jeremiah, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations," He wasn't leaving you and me out of the loop (Jeremiah 1:5 NKJV). Although you may feel like your life isn't nearly as riveting as the Prophet Jeremiah's, you were still created for a particular purpose. 

Therefore, that burning desire you have to make lasting changes in your life for the better is just a catalyst to help you clear a path for your purpose. And, we know that all things work together for the good of those who are called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). 

Sis, you don't have to do this with your own strength, because The Most High has already prepared a way for you to do everything that will bring His kingdom glory (Ephesians 2:10). Deciding to improve the key areas of your life through goal achievement is one of the ways you are knocking at God's door. Rest assured, when you ask it will be given to you, and when you seek you will find, and when you knock the door will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7).

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People make the mistake of thinking that they already have to have the confidence to get started. However, as you take a step in the right direction El Shaddai, who supplies all of our needs will gift you whatever it is you're lacking to get the job done. I use the word "gift" here because all you have to do is take a step in the right direction and watch how your vision, provision, and confidence will increase.  

I'll leave you with this final thought from my 3 Cs of purpose taken from the Goals | Purpose | God mini-course:

You were CREATED for such a time as this. 

Everything you've been through was building in you the strength and wisdom needed to fulfill your purpose. That's why you survived things that others would have lost their minds if it happened to them.

You are fully CAPABLE of fulfilling your purpose.

Whatever it is you need to get the job done is already inside of you, or The Most High will supply it.

You are CALLED to affect the world.

As a believer, you are called to let your light shine amongst men so that they see the glory of God's kingdom through you.

Sis, there are enough dark rooms for us all. Don't let your light go to waste. Get started today on pursuing your goals. If you need help that's what I'm here for. Join the Women Dream Builders for free here.

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